• MR JR


Updated: May 5, 2019

Crowds gathered for the backyard BBQ and DIY Blood Drive this past Saturday in hopes of raising funds to rebuild their small fishing town. Soon after festivities commenced, the casual event turned into a deadly nightmare. Police arrested a man known only at this time as Mister Junior.

Mister Junior was caught concealing his identity as a means to set up a booth at the HMCB for the DIY Blood Drive. With no medical license or experience and no medical instruments, Mister Junior began removing limbs from folks that had signed a release form; allowing for "fast pass" blood removal with an ax. A copy of the contract left at the scene indicated that users were guaranteed " to have safely removed two pints of blood within a total blood removal time of less than 30 seconds". Specifics of the incident are still being concealed by authorities while the investigation continues, but a photo has surfaced that appears to show Mister Junior at another blood drive using a similar technique. Captain Panic of Weeooh County Sheriff's department had this to say:

"We don't know how long he has been committing these illegal acts, but we are going to try to get the answers to those types of questions and we are going to fully cooperate with the Prosecutor's Office. Mister Junior has been a menace and a danger to the community for far too long. This is not the first time we've had an encounter with Mister Junior, I think that anyone within 100 miles of Weeooh County has been affected at some point or another by his actions. We are hopeful that the prosecutor's case will stick and that the judge will uphold the law."

Late last year, Captain Panic was the officer that first responded to a call reporting drug manufacturing in an abandoned barn about 27 miles outside of city limits. Mister Junior narrowly evaded capture after he assaulted the officer and escaped on foot. "As I approached the location I could tell right away that something was not right. Through the window I saw someone wearing a lab coat and a respirator, surrounded by various kitchenware used for cooking drugs. Upon approach of the suspect, he immediately physically assaulted me. After he had rendered me unconscious, he proceeded to place the narcotics into my possession and somehow into my bloodstream.", said Captain Panic. Panic was later found outside, just minutes from death as he fought a drug overdose. "I just remember crawling away. I was so heavily affected by the narcotics that I could not understand how to use my radio. I prayed." Minutes later, backup arrived and Panic was taken by helicopter to the WC Hospital

Police later identified Mister Junior once it was discovered that the incident had been recorded and was uploaded to YouTube. Under careful examination by the state data forensic investigators, it turned out that a part of the video had been edited to make it appear as though Captain Panic had placed drugs in his own front pocket, as well as smoked a cigarette. Mister Junior faces multiple charges including impersonating an officer, resisting arrest, narcotic manufacturing, smoking outside of designated areas, as well as the new charges that were filed on Saturday.

"I think it's a great deal safer today than it was yesterday, because with Mister Junior on the street there is no safe place. Mister Junior off the streets means that the streets are safe again. Period. He's just that bad. And that's one less person smoking a cigarette in front of the restaurant or movie theater. It's a terrible habit and I think it's disgusting.", said Panic. Beyond his achievements at the local Sheriff's department, Captain Panic is known for his youth outreach programs to keep minors off of cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. "If you're smoking around me then you better be on fire."

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