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The Tale of Piggly Wings Pt 1

Hear ye, hear ye! Come one, come all, and gather for the tale of Piggly Wings! Pick up a pint and toss a nickel if you will. Don't dawdle; for there is no greater story known to any species of Earth than that of Piggly Wings. My soul is cursed for ever uttering the words of that name. Speak not of what I tell you unless you desire a fate the same as my own. My curse is eternal and everlasting; a scourge of the belly and a poison of the genitals; my knowledge is not to be an object of envy. Please sit yourself down and hold on to your wits. It is with great despair that I bring to you... The Tale of Piggly Wings.


Nestled in the hills of Birdbath County is a cabin. It can't be seen from the sky above; only by walking alone will one stumble upon it. Most will say that it may not exist at all. Most are terribly wrong. But the "where" is not as noteworthy as the "when". You see, the cabin has a tendency to vanish from time to time. This disappearance can be for as little a few weeks to many centuries at a time. There are forces at play that exceed all human comprehension and experience, I'm afraid.


On a cold November night, I made my normal route selling wares I had acquired throughout my travels. Dark fell the night and it was as cold as the devil's Kool-Aid,. I prayed for a shelter.... any shelter would do to fight off the cold. I noticed something that wasn't there before. With my one good eye, I did spot the cabin. Even from the 100 meters distance at which I found myself, it was clear what I had found on my hike through the woods of Birdbath. It was constructed of 12" thick logs, mortar joints, and was closely guarded by a large German Shepherd. Keeping my distance, I studied the landscape; taking in all that my eye could see. The darkness was thick and so was the air around the cabin. I knew something foul was afoot.


I could hear something walking toward me, though the guard dog was silent was not moving. "Can you help me through the darkness?", a voice whispered, almost whining like Stop Calling Me Steven. I held my breath and said not a word. "Can you see me through the darkness?" Again, I offered no response. I feared for my life, but I couldn't make myself turn and leave. The voice pleaded through the blackness: "Help me prove that I'm no racist before my eyes go blind....". I could only imagine the terrible things this invisible wretch must have been involved with.


I swallowed and took a step forward....


To be continued...




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